The seven principles for making marriage work

John Gottman draws on extensive observational studies to identify the interactions that predict marital success or failure and translates them into seven actionable principles for improving relationships. The book focuses first on restoring the couple friendship—building love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, and turning toward everyday bids for connection—and then on managing conflict constructively. Gottman explains destructive patterns (the “Four Horsemen”: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) and offers strategies for repair, compromise, and distinguishing solvable from perpetual problems. Each chapter pairs concise theory with practical exercises, questionnaires, and sample dialogues to help partners strengthen emotional attunement, increase mutual influence, and create shared meaning for their life together. Practical and clinician-friendly, the book offers an evidence-based roadmap for couples at any stage who want to build greater stability, intimacy, and resilience in their relationship.